3 Steps to Help Your Partner See Your Side

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. Conflict in relationships isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood. The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly […]

Why Adjusting the Temperature Can Save Your Relationship

Originally Published on the Gottman Institute Blog   Have you ever thought about the Relationship Thermostat? The secret to keeping things comfortable is to address the uncomfortable issues that pull you two apart. Longitudinal research on newlywed couples discovered that stable and happy couples are more responsive to slight changes in negativity than ailing marriages. It’s like every relationship has […]

How Understanding with Activism Can Create Change

“In every generation, white people have said there is not a racial problem and people of color have said there is. History has proven [the people of color] right.” – Tim Wise Trigger warnings: This article, at times, describes racism, trauma, abuse, and violence that happens to human bodies, with a focus on the bodies of Black and Indigenous People […]

The Top 3 Insecurities in Love That Ruin Your Relationship

We all have different insecurities in life. But when those vulnerabilities work their way into our relationships, insecurities in love can ruin our partnerships. All couples come to experience the raw buttons of their partner. Happy couples understand each other’s imperfections and enduring vulnerabilities, while unhappy couples use these enduring vulnerabilities as fire power in the heat of a battle. […]

When What You Think Happened Is Worse Than What Actually Happened

One of the most destructive patterns in romantic relationships is negative interpretations. A negative interpretation occurs when a significant other believes that the motives of their partner are more negative than they actually are. This toxic behavior is a silent killer of relationships. Like carbon monoxide, it fills the air of the relationship with an almost undetectable gas that suffocates […]

3 Choices that Make or Break It

You have three relationship connection choices that can make your partnership amazing or lonely. “Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact [and] he will die.” – A General Theory of Love Matt and Evalin fight about everything under the sun. Evalin tells Matt, “You’re a slob. It’s not hard to pick up your clothes off […]